Was Almost Killed...

I had the most tragic of times last weekend. In fact, I almost died.

How did I almost die you wonder? Well, it's a long story, but here it goes...

It all started on Sunday, March 7, when my family and I decided to go see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. We were going to go see it on Saturday, but because of the amazing speed at which tickets are sold away, we bought tickets right then and there to see it on Sunday at 11:00. The movie was amazing, although I left the theatre with a bloated stomache (from all the Coca-Cola I was drinking) and had to run the the bathroom. Rather quickly I might add.

So as it goes along, I see my friends Rumpelstiltskin and Baba Yaga (they're codenames, not the actual fable characters). They are hanging out, waiting for Big Bad Wolf, aka B.B. Wolf, and then they see me and are all like, "Pinocchio! We were about to sell your movie ticket! We weren't sure if you were coming!"

I was confused, 'cause I had no idea what was really going on. But everything did eventually get fixed and brought up to date, and what do you know? I ended up watching Alice in Wonderland again! Score!

Then we go to 'Crepes and Waffles' and have a blast, only I'm lactose intolerant so I ended up having a rather bad stomache ache after drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate during the time while we were there. That is when Rumpelstiltskin realizes her phone is missing. We can't find it so we just go ahead on to her house.

She was really upset.

That was when an amazing thing happened! Rumpelstiltskin called her cell phone and it turned out the theatre place were holding it, waiting to see who's it was! So then we walked all the way back to the mall and she reclaimed her phone.

Now, here is where my life became endangered.

So, we were walking back again to her house, when all of a sudden this really creepy lady comes out of nowhere! And I mean creepy! She has green hair, is wearing all black, and is missing a few teeth in the front. And although she was kind of small, she was scary! My friends and I tried to shuffle pass, but for some reason this lady decides I'm her new victium. She grabs me from behind and holds a knife to my throat, trying to rob my candy bag from my hand. I see some of her associates follow behind her, looking at me with horribly, pleading eyes. B.B. Wolf and Baba Yaga were lucky enough to escape her and her associates clutches, they ran on ahead, scared out of their wits. That is when Rumpelstiltskin saves the day!

She drives a round-house kick to the ladies' rear end causing the green haired lady to yowl with pain and to loosen her hold on me just a bit, but I'm still not free. Rumpelstiltskin does a quick kick and the knife is knocked from her hand. My friend then aims a hard core punch at the insane woman. Her fist collides with the ladies' nose, a snap can be heard. Her nose was broken.

The green haired lady falls back, I tear free and manage my escape with my candy bag clutched tightly in both hands. I take off running and I don't dare look back at the ugly sight behind me. Before I started to get slightly worried, I hear Rumpelstiltskin fall into step besides me. We run on and on and finally manage to catch up with the others.

So you see? I nearly escaped from my own funeral. Now this should be a lesson to you all. Never, and I mean never, carry a bag of delicous, strawberry gummies on your walk home. It's dangerous!