Wishful Thinking

You know those times when you think an impossible thing but wonder if it really is possible? Well lately I've been having those moments a little too often. I think all I really want is to get out of this place called reality. Because just for those people who don't yet know it, reality sucks.

If you make one really big mistake, all happiness in your life could be gone. Sometimes you never get it back. Or maybe you have money, a job, and shelter, but you never get to do the things you want to do. Your either sleeping, eating, or working. It gets tiring, or at least that's my guess. At the moment I'm only a student but I'm already feeling that's how my life is. Right at the moment my life has one boring routine that I absolutely hate and I can't see how it's going to get any better. It's school, eating, sleeping, working. It sucks. Then there's all sorts of family issues, friend issues, school issues, and a whole lot of other issues that make reality even worse! I'm starting to feel like a controlled zombie and I hate it! And now since I brought up being controlled, I might as well ramble on about that.

Have any of you realized that you're all just being controlled? For example, I'm forced to go to school, live a certain way, act a certain way, and do certain things. Why can't I just do whatever I want!? Why can't I just pick a nice spot of land in a forest or by the ocean and just live there however? It's not fair. Now this finally brings me back to my impossible thinking.

My life is to the point where I always seem to be having a bad day and just want to escape from everything, so when I come home, wishful thinking pours in. Why can't someone with wings sweep me off my balcony and take me somewhere far away. Far away where I can live in peace. Why can't creatures exist such as werewolves, centaurs, and faeries? I could at least have some friends outside of school and the civilized world that are different from everybody else just like I seem to be too, that will always be loyal to me and never stab me in the back. Because I'm honestly sick of being hurt emotionally countless times from people I know. I wonder so hard if they're actually real. It's my fantasy.

Wanting to escape reality so bad, I think that is why I read and write so much. I'm desperate to sink my teeth in a book and forget my troubles and I'm desperate to write away my escape.

All I want is to be free from everything and my fantasies to be real.